Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. The Rusty Trombone This is what happens when you've got a less then respectable female (AKA be-yatch) tongue deep in your chute.
She wiggles her tongue as she does the reach around to pump you like a Catholic priest doing an Alter Boy, thus mimicking a trombone player. Sandbag Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and engage in the well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season. The Screwnicorn When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn. The Seatbelt While one fag straddles his partners cock, he receives a blowjob from the fruitcake on the bottom. Shirley Temple Pour a can of 7-Up on a girl's menstruating pussy and eat her out. The Shocker When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina and pinky in her anus.
After giving her a few good minutes of double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.) Shop Vac When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you're entire package (balls and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power. Shrimping The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes. Skiing While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two guys and jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross-country action. Slumpbuster When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, fattest, most disease-ridden skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will break up a slump. Snerd Nurgling The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within his/her lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the lavender boys, hence the expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd". Snoodling When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over the cock of another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You Snoodler!" Snowball Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth. Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still in her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it has happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been laughing their asses off at you. The Snuff Lovingly fuck the shit out of your virgin or ragging girlfriend and wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids, show them to your friends, and brag that you're a snuff film superstar. Stranger Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, giving you the feeling of a hand job from someone else. Stranger On The Rocks Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then jerking off. Strangers In The Night When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else, from someone else. Stingy Nut When a chick isn't worth fucking; pull down her pants, bend her over, and jerk off all over her ass. Sud N' Fud When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap.
Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead. As you watch the rippling effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given the sense of riding the ultimate wave. Swimmer's Ear When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt, you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her ear, and fill her ear with some sweet love seed.
Tea Bag To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back. Then you squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip your nut sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some kind of fucked up yoga exercise. 3-Eyed Turtle Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following manner: thumb in ass, fingers in pussy, and dick in mouth.