The drink itself was a bright, neon yellow that looked slightly radioactive. Jolene said it tasted like synthetic blueberries and had a distinct aftertaste. She chugged it down over the course of ten minutes, and then refilled the bottle twice, choking down gulp after gulp of weird-tasting water until her stomach was bursting with 1.5 liters of liquid. After three pees that, in Jolene’s words, “looked like I drank highlighter ink,” she took the test. Jolene tested negative for THC, despite having smoked several pre-noon bowls just hours before.
We were both pretty shocked by this turn of events. If you follow the instructions, you might pass your test, but the extreme color of your pee might raise some alarm bells in a clinical setting. Plus, the amount of water you need to drink is a little excessive. We’ve got your “drug test, how to pass” cliff notes right here. Detoxing for a drug test can be a nightmare, especially if you’ve only got a little bit of time to clean out your system. Because weed can stay in your system far longer than almost any other recreational drug, getting clean urine on the quick can be a sticky subject for marijuana smokers. Despite weed being legal in nine states across the US, federal bans still require some users to “pee clean” for certain occupations, which seems pretty unfair for a casual user. While it’s by far the least dangerous drug taken recreationally, it can take weeks to completely get out of our bodies, even though it only takes a few hours to stop making us high.
This is all due to how the body processes marijuana, and each individual body processes it a bit differently. Weed is a fat-soluble drug, which means that it binds to fats in our bodies. So for heavy consumers- both people who smoke a lot, and/or people who are overweight, this can be a really tricky test to pass. It’s also rare that any employer who’s trolling your urine for drugs, to differentiate between recreational use and medical. So whether you’re hitting a blunt to relax, or poppy a gummy for chronic pain, most employers don’t care. Luckily for all users, there are some simple ways to clean your system for a drug test, fast. For a healthy body, the best detox drink is a combination of water and time. Because marijuana is a fat soluble drug, the best way to clear it from your system fast is to eat healthy foods that are low in fat and sugar. Maintaining the ideal weight and staying well hydrated are also ways to prime your body to get rid of residuals quickly. If you’re a heavy smoker and you know you have a test coming up, stop smoking as far in advance as you can. The better your overall health is, the less time your body will take to clean itself out. Most of the toxins in our bodies are mitigated and eliminated thanks to the help of our liver and kidneys. Key points to remember in keeping these filter organs happy are to drink plenty of water, eat a low sodium, low sugar diet, and try and abstain from high amounts of alcohol use. The happier these organs are, the quicker you self clean. Exercise helps reduce your bodies THC content by burning the fat that the THC attaches itself to. Having a good amount of base musculature serves to increase a bodies metabolic rate, which means you can burn fat just by sitting around. So staying in shape is another excellent way to get a clean drug test. If you’re in great baseline health, eat, drink, and exercise properly, just laying off weed for a week or so should be good enough to clean you out in time. However, not everyone gets a heads up when it comes to urine testing, so if you face the dreaded random drug test, it’s always a good idea to keep some fast acting detox drinks on hand. The best science that money can buy for assign a drug test can now come in a bottle. While some of these drinks are disgusting at minimum, and can cause some tummy discomfort at maximum, they can get you peeing clean and clear in just a few hours. Possibly one of the best known commercially available detox drinks on the market, Rescue Detox drinks are pretty effective. They come in a range of flavors and work within just a few hours. To use, you have to avoid eating for five hours prior to drinking the concoction. An hour or two before testing, drink the full bottle and refill with water twice. Once you’ve drank the whopping 1.5 liters of liquid, pee three times and you should be good to go clean for the nest 3-5 hours.
While Detoxify’s instructions don’t say anything about abstaining from food, they do suggest that you stop smoking for as long as possible before using their drinks. Once you’ve put down the pipe for a bit, drink the entire contents of the bottle, refill once with water, then pee three or four times. After that, you should be able to pass a drug test for up to the next five hours. Stinger Detox has a massive range of products, but what really makes them stand out is the “5x Extra Strength” drink, which can serve you a clean bill of urine in just 60-90 minutes. Another added benefit is that you end up drinking way less fluid than most of the other detox drinks available. The initial bottle is only 237mL, which you refill twice with water and drink down.
Pee three or four times prior to testing, then you’re good for testing. The company does note that their drinks work best if you steer clear of dairy products and eat healthily. They also suggest staying regularly hydrated with water. Which is good advice whether you’re testing or not. If you’ve got a bit more time on your hands before testing begins and want to try something a little more natural, there are a few options to get your urine clear and clean.